Es Ist Total Kunst

So we reach what is typically known as the 'business end' of the Euros, where one slip or one defensive mistake can leave teams languishing in eternal torment as they ponder what might have been if they just managed to hold out until extra time, or converted that open goal on the cusp of half time, or avoided conceding five goals in the first ten minutes. It's do or die. Or at least try and hold out for penalties.

On Thursday night, Fake Ronaldo took a dive and somehow managed to connect quite forcibly with the ball at the same time to ensure Portugal took the first semi final place at Euro 2012. To be fair, the Czechs weren't up to much and even the best efforts of the sprightly Milan Baros (86) couldn't help them.

Meanwhile, earlier tonight Die deutsche Fußballnationalmannschaft powered their way with crushing inevitability into the semis with a handsome win against the plucky Greeks. As well as scoring a couple of Hot Shot Hamish type net busters, the Germans also included in their scoring ranks the indefatigable Klose, who a mere day after collecting his bus pass, notched yet another major tournament goal to add to...eh...all the others he's scored.

This weekend, Spain will no doubt completely thrash France 1-0, and Italy v England??? Paddy Power are offering 250/1 on Roy Hodgson himself coming on in extra time to score a last minute 40 yard screamer to take his team through. Worth a punt......