TOTALLY ROUND UP WEEK 40: THE DRAMATIC FINALE

And so we come to the end of another enthralling season of Totally Skill League TM and what a final week it was. It may not have had the last minute drama of the inferior Premier League, Ronan having taken an unassailable league some time ago which even a Whaley Bee Weekend couldn't dent, but his strong finish did him credit. The last few weeks have seen him edging ever closer to the title but this week he finished with a triumphant 10 points to claim his crown. Even his 7-6 Atromitos v AEK Athens prediction came up trumps with 2 points. Well done Ronan!
Penny managed 4 points which was enough to secure 2nd place and see off Darren's late challenge.
So, we can't even take time to draw breath as the Deaf School Cup is in full flow, and then we usher in the Euros for an exciting June. Totally Skill!!!

EGG PLANT Update!!!

Egg Plant (above, pictured during their Techno Madrigal phase) have released more details regarding their upcoming summer tour and general reunion malarkey.
It appears their appearance at the Big Top in Galway this July is merely a warm up for a more extensive trawl of the Irish countryside, as they have just announced an unprecedented TEN NIGHTS at Slane Castle in Meath, beginning on August 2nd. The last time Egg Plant appeared at Slane was a headlining slot with an expanded line-up in July 1689, which ended in mayhem as they lay siege to the castle itself with bows and arrows, fire and a giant battering ram.

 (Egg Plant's expanded line-up, above, pictured backstage at Slane in 1689 before their infamous appearance by the banks of the River Boyne. Included in this incarnation of the group in the far right of the photograph is Little Billy Tucker, aged only 7 at the time, who went on to become the 18th century's most revered Dubstep artist, influencing, among others, Mozart's early Grime and 2-step experiments)

Fields in Monaghan, Roscommon and Kerry are also being investigated for further outdoor shows immediately after their Slane extravaganza, with a show being currently mooted to take place on the grounds of Tallaght Castle to round off the summer.

Also of interest is the news that not only will the group be releasing a brand new single (the previously reported SLAVEN LOVE), but that they have been hard at work over the past few months recording a NEW ALBUM! As yet untitled, it has been mentioned by insiders that the intrepid musicians have incorporated every single style of music ever invented (bar Country & Western)  into a triple LP concept album, based on the life of Floki Rafna, a viking explorer who apparently discovered Iceland.

(Chief songwriters Sean and Gethsamen of Egg Plant pictured above in traditional 'getting ready to rock the house' pose. Sean is here displaying his virtuosity on the oft derided Tooth Flutes, while Gethsamen is playing the much lauded 'G# 7th diminshed major 8th' chord, famous for being the only chord in the entire world that can only be played by Gethsamen himself. Apparently Jimi Hendrix foolishly attempted it in the 1970's and ended up choking on his vomit, such was his violent and ultimately fatal reaction to the sheer difficulty of achieving such devilish dexterity)

Anyway, tickets for Egg Plant's Slane shows already went on sale last November, even before the band themselves knew they were due to play there, so chances are they're already sold out. Fear not, for we at Totally Skill have a pair of VIP tickets to give away to the first person to successfully play the G#7th diminished major 8th chord and survive.

TRIGGS RIP

There were rumours of her demise a couple of years ago, but they proved to be unfounded. Now, however, the long-suffering Triggs really has shuffled of this mortal coil and she will be sorely missed, not least by Roy. Who will accompany him on those walks past the paparazzi now, in times of trouble?
RIP Triggs

TOTALLY ROUND UP WEEK 39

And so, just as lesser competitors would crumble under the pressure, Ronan continues to steadily outdo his rivals in the penultimate week of the Totally Skill League TM and the league is now surely his. Penny scored the first points of the day with her uncanny knowledge of the Welsh Cup participants' form but as the day wore on, not only was Ronan's faith in A!F!C! rewarded with 2 points, but he correctly predicted the home win in the Norwegian fixture. Darren was hoping to make Penny sweat for 2nd place and Champions League qualification, but it looks like her 4 points will be enough to secure her place.
In other news, congratulations to Crawley Town, who did just enough to secure the 3rd automatic promotion spot to move up to League One next year. They had a bit of a wobble when Steve Evans left but back-to-back promotions are now theirs. Well done Sergio and the boys! And this has to be the best picture of the lovely Sergio ever...

Week 39 Table

Ronan       381 pts
Penny       357 pts
Darren      341 pts

HEROES OF THE WEEK

What a story: from the Norwegian Fifth division comes a tale to restore all your lost faith in the Corinthian values of the sometimes not-so-beautiful game.
Home team Sandved were 3-1 up against Ild when Talat Abunima went over in the box and was awarded a penalty. Abunima, pictured, immediately protested to the referee that he had in fact tripped over his own feet and there should be no spot-kick.
"I went past an Ild player and then tripped over my own feet. It was unbelievably clumsy of me and when the referee pointed to the spot I felt I had to speak out," Abunima told local newspaper Sandnesposten.
The ref was having none of this though, and sent Talat off for protesting.
But the heroism doesn't end there. Player-coach Oyvind Svenning deliberately sent the penalty wide in support of his player.
Opposing team Ild then withdrew a player themselves to even team numbers up; can anyone imagine a Premiership team doing the same thing? Ild then went on to be awarded 2 penalties which they converted to finish the game 3-3; a fair result it has to be said.
Only the ref failed to cover himself in glory, petulantly complaining that Svenning had protested Ild's final penalty. He also accused Abunima of not understanding the game's rules, despite the fact that it seems the player would have more of an idea of whether he's tripped himself up or not, but there you go.
So, Sandved and Ild, heroes all round. Thanks lads.

It's LUCA time.....

We interupt this blog to allow the legend that is Luca Toni to bask in the Totally Skill spotlight. With the Euro's
just around the corner, we can't help but feel that all our lives will be that little bit poorer when Italy run onto the pitch without this great lug of a fella.

MUSIC NEWS

Ah well, when it all goes tits up in the music business, there's always that glazier career to fall back on...