FINAL WEEKEND RESULTS!!! PENNY IS THE WINNER!!!

Well......that was the season that was! And after the final weekends points totals were counted and verified by our independent adjudicators, the result is in! Congrats to PENNY who is Egg Plant Totally Skill Champion 2013/2014!!!
It was a close run thing, and she got their by the skin of her teeth with what I'm pretty sure is the tightest winning margin in Totally Skill history. A mere THREE points seperated her and Darren after the dust settled. Darren put in a sterling performance in the last round of games, notching 8 points which would have been enough to tie the whole shebang, but Penny did what was required and garnered 3 points to maintain the top spot and become the first Skiller to win the league twice! Ronan got a perfunctory 5 points in the final round, and brings up the rear in a race that he was never really in after the Whaley Bee weekend left him rather adrfit.
So......that's all folks! All that remains is for the Skillers to attend the prize giving ceremony in Freeney's  next week, where many soft drinks shall be imbibed and tears shall be shed for the passing of the greatest league the world has ever known. Onwards and upwards...........

FINAL TABLE:

PENNY.....CHAMPION!!! 225
Darren 222
Ronan 210

Week 31 Round Up!!!

One more weekend to go, and then it's Goodnight Egg Plant Totally Skill League (sniff). Who shall be lifting the winner's greeting card aloft come this time next week though? Well, Week 31 offered us a few clues (i.e. barring a miraculous recovery in the final furlong by Darren...the smart money's on Penny), and also saw reigning champion Ronan rally with one last effort to buck the odds big time. Alas, his 11 point haul (thank you Doncaster and Dartford), while impressive, was not partnered with a collapse by the other two. Penny notched 5 points (A!F!C! donating two of those) while Darren bagged 6 points to stay (just about) in the race. So it really is all down to the last weekend to find out if Penny chokes as the finishing line comes into view and Darren manages to have his best week ever in Totally Skill League history. The odds are against him, but in the Totally Skill universe, anything is possible. Isn't it???
Meanwhile, in other news, Brick Factory's debut album, which is called....eh....'Crayon' is due out in April. Tour dates are stil being finalised as we went to press, but a ten night residency in The Crane Bar has not been ruled out at this stage.

Week 31 Table

Penny 222
Darren 214
Ronan 205

Week 30 Round Up!!!

All Skillers gained points this week by correctly predicting Liverpool's emphatic victory over those minnows Man Utd, although both Penny and Darren could have bagged three points from the fixture if they had realised that the chances of Utd actually scoring a goal was about as remote as Sergio Torres and Didi Hamann forming a techo supergroup.
Nevertheless, Darren fought back admirably with a welcome nine points, a couple of correct winning margins going his way. Penny grabbed herself six points to still keep Darren at arms length; her faith in A!F!C! finally paying off. Ronan is still struggling up the final stretch of the mountain as the others approach the summit, but his six points at least made it a creditable enough week for the soon to be de-throned champion.
So Darren has nibbled away at Penny's lead rather than taken a mighty chomp, and with just two weeks to go, he will need all the cards to fall favourably for him to make it a nail biting finish.

Week 30 Table

Penny 217
Darren 208
Ronan 194

Whaley Bee Round-Up!!!!!

My oh my oh my oh my!!! We always figured that this bumper Whaley Bee weekend would shake things up somewhat. Well.....there was plenty of shakin' goin' on! The lower leagues came through for Penny as she found a hot streak of form at just the right time. League One alone bagged her 10 points, with a smattering a 6's and 7's following in the leagues below.
Darren, meanwhile, struggled somewhat with Saturday's fixtures, allowing Penny to steal the lead overnight. Although he scored big with the Ladies League on Sunday with a much needed 8 points, it wasn't enough to prevent Penny from claiming top spot at this crucial juncture and emerging from the weekend with a 12 point lead. Penny's marvellous total of 67 to Darren's 46 means that we could be see could see a return of the Totally Skill trophy to the cabinet of the first ever winner of the competition. Maybe Darren has something up his sleeve, but it will need to be pretty spectacular as we only have a few weekends left now. Not much room for manouver. And definitely no room for any slip ups.
Alas, last seasons champion Ronan gave it his best shot, but even with a decent total of 49 points it's clear his attempt at retaining the title will fall short.
Sooooooo.......who's yer money on?


Week 29 Table

Penny 211
Darren 199
Ronan 188

Week 28 Round Up/Update/Report Thingy

Ah sure, from this angle it just looks like Pards wants a bit of cuddle. Darren certainly got his head stuck into things this week, and bagged a none-too-shabby 8 points as Penny reached a respectable-in-recent-weeks total of 4. But it seems as though Darren has now found his stride and although we do have the monumental Whaley Bee coming up this weekend, he goes into that particular battle with a healthy nine point lead. The French League handed him a 3 pointer and he was oh so close in the Skrill Conference as his 2-3 prediction turned out 3-3. Preston gave Penny 2 of her points total, and what of Ronan, our current champion? ONE point. ONE pitiful point. If anyone needs this upcoming Whaley Bee, it's him.

Week 28 Table

Darren 153
Penny 144
Ronan 139

Week 27 Update!

Nobody seems to want to make a break for it at this tense stage of the season......the Skillers had a rather slow week of it all told. Darren with 2, Penny with 4 and Ronan with 3. Needless to say, none of them could have forseen the collapse of Dortmund against those beefy Hamburgers. They seem to be placing too much faith in A!F!C! too.....it's time to let the heads rule the hearts from now on in. Only the toughest shall survive! Surely we're also due a Whaley Bee week very soon.....that may shake things up a bit!

In other news this week, we're sad to report that Otto Skillhagen (pictured above) has left the techno/folk/madrigal superstars Egg Plant in a fit of petulance over the band's refusal to include the blue packets of Hunky Dorys on their tour rider. He is reported to have already signed a solo deal with Universal with a view to recording a quadruple debut album , to be only made available on shellac, in the near future. Egg Plant themselves were unavailable for comment, and one must now fear that their upcoming US Tour could be thrown into jeopardy. Not only was Otto the frontman and main focal point for the band on stage, but he's also taken the keys of the tour van with him on his way out.

Week 27 Table

Darren 145
Penny 140
Ronan 138

Weeks 25 & 26 Update!

The past two weeks have seen consolidation rather than revolution in the Egg Plant Totally Skill League. Darren still holds the lead with a handy 11 point haul over the fortnight, with Ronan gathering some momentum and ending this week just one point behind Penny. It seems the Skillers have settled into a groove, with nobody willing to make take risks at this delicate point of the season. It's nail-biting, it's teeth-clenching, it's heart pounding, and we're certainly entering the 'squeaky bum' time over the next few weeks.
Above is a totally random picture of Brora Rangers playing the mighty Clachnacuddin at some point over the past month or two. Just because........

Week 26 Table

Darren 143
Penny 136
Ronan 135

Weeks 16-24 Bumper Round-Up!!!

Okay, so you all enjoyed Christmas and then made it through the long, long January....all the while our intrepid Skillers have been pitting their predictive wits against each other in an attempt to gain a vital advantage at this crucial point of the season. It becomes even more crucial with the news that this seasons competition ends at the end of March owing to Penny's upcoming move to the lucrative UK leagues. So over the next few weeks, there is litte margin for error as we enter the final few furlongs. But what happened over the past few weeks I hear you ask? Weeellllllllllll..........

Weeks 16, 17 and 18 brought no major change in the standings as all three garnered some respectable points totals, but Ronan maintained the top spot without too much rancour.
Week 19 changed all that as Penny and Ronan scraped a couple of points but Darren scored a remarkabe 11 points to move within one point of Ronan. The week after brought a measure of respite for Ronan as he stretched out again to a three point lead, but Darren leveled in Week 21 as both he and Ronan moved onto 120 points, Penny bringing up the rear with 111.

It was at this point that Darren decided to put his foot to the pedal big time, a Lorient-Guincamp 3 pointer helping him to a five point haul in Week 22 as Ronan scraped 2 and Penny managed 1.
Darren was now tasting the dizzy heights of top slot, and the pressure immediately showed as in Week 23 he only scored a single point, which was enough to hold on to the lead as Ronan stumbled with his attempted comeback with an unsatisfactory 3 points. Penny, meanwhile, stormed up behind the two lads with a rather handsome 7 points that week to make it unbearably close between all three.

Week 24 has thrown everything into the proverbial mixer once again! Penny got two 3 pointers on her way to 8 points, leapfrogging her into 2nd above Ronan, who scrambled pathetically to a miserable 2. Darren is clearly enjoying his stint above both and notched up 6 points to stay in front.
Wowzer! There are surely more twists and turns to come in this wildly exciting season. Can Darren ride out the next couple of months, holding off the challenges of Penny, who has found her second wind at just the right time, and Ronan, who must respond to his recent poor form and fight to retain the title?
It will all be answered here over the coming weeks Skill fans.................

Week 24 Table

Darren  132 pts
Penny   128 pts
Ronan   126 pts

Lukas McPodolski And Santi O' Cazorla

How we missed this photo last year remains a mystery. Podolski and Cazorla showing their support for the Clare senior hurling team ahead of the All Ireland final. We're not sure where they got the hurleys from, but it would be great to see these two line out in Croke Park at some point in the future.
Anyway, hope all our Totally Skill fans had a wonderful Christmas and onwards we march into 2014 (World Cup Year! Yaaaay!) and what better way to start than with this bizarre yet somehow endearing picture!!!

Weeks 14 and 15 Round Ups

THAT'S how you do a Cruyff turn, Artur, you plank...
So, a double round up this week due to circumstances outside our control. There was a minor hiccough in Week 14 when one of our fixture panel failed to realise that there would be no European fixtures as it was the International break. They have been duly reprimanded, fret not.
Week 14 turned into a good week for Penny who made up a bit of ground with 7 points, Port Vale doing the business for her. Helping her out was Darren managing only 3 whilst Ronan continued his steady progress with a 5.
Week 15 saw Penny score 3 points in Germany to go with a couple of singles so that she didn't waste the good performance of the week before. It's not officially a come back yet but, she has to hope that she has picked up a bit of momentum at last. Darren upped his game after the poor performance in Week 14 and scored an improved 5, cleaning up in the Skrill at Hyde. Ronan was back in fine form on 7, with a brace at FC Luzern and in Germany. He really is the Manchester United of the Egg Plant Totally Skill League. Well, not the CURRENT Man Utd, of course, or he'd be crap...


Week 15 Table

Ronan 89 pts
Darren 80pts
Penny  77 pts

Totally Round Up Week 13

Belated greetings from Totally Skill Central; in recompense, here's a nice picture of Totally Skill hero John Parr.
Right, so where were we?
Week 13 and Penny continues her terrible form as Darren gets into his stride and outs a bit more distance between himself and last place, as well as eating into Ronan's lead. Both Ronan and Darren scored three pointers, getting 7 and 4 respectively, whilst Penny could only rustle up 3 in total which leaves her languishing in third.

Week 13 Table

Ronan  77 pts
Darren  72 pts
Penny   65 pts

Totally Round Up Week 12

Clearly goal of the week was Asmir Begovic's against Southampton, although he did have the grace to look a bit sheepish afterwards. That it makes him joint top goalscorer for Stoke this season has to be a bit of a worry for Sparky though!
Back to matters Totally Skill and everyone had a quiet week this week, much to Penny's relief. She could only muster 3 again, for the second week running but fortunately, neither Ronan nor Darren could score more than 5. Darren topped the week with Ronan close behind on 4. So no change in the placings, but Penny is going to have to work hard over the next few weeks to make sure the boys don't pull out of sight.

Week 12 Table

Ronan    73 pts
Darren    66 pts
Penny     62 pts

Story of the Week

Thanks to our east coast correspondent for the goal of the season contender at Peamount United; what a cracker!
For our story of the week we go to Burnley as mascot Bertie the Bee was sensationally sent off in their match against QPR at the weekend. He jokingly handed the assistant referee a pair of glasses following a contentious decision, but the officials failed to see the funny side and he was sent to the stands. This picture of him in the cells was taken at half time by the assistant manager.

Totally Round Up Week 11

So, after a look at the worst haircut currently in the Premiership, courtesy of My Little Pony, we move on to the serious business of Week 11. And it was Darren and Ronan who came good this week, seeing Darren get the only three-pointer of the round at Leicester and take 9 points, overtaking Penny to go into second place in the process. Ronan kept his lead intact with a close 8 points but Penny had a disastrous week managing a measly 3. She's going to have to put in some extra training if she's going to avoid getting the wooden spoon again this year. (Almost) predictable result of the week was the Norwich - Cardiff game which saw everyone predict as 1-1. It may have been 0-0 in the end but it clearly had draw written all over it...

Week 11 Table

Ronan   69 pts
Darren   61 pts
Penny    59 pts

Totally Skill Goal Of The Week/Month/Season?

Now THIS is pretty much the epitome of 'Totally Skill'. Stephanie Roche of Peamount Utd in the Irish Women's National League.....take a bow. Wowzer!

Quote of the Week

This award has to go to the cheeky person who told the BBC website, "If Southampton are going to challenge for a Champions League place, they really need to be beating mid-table teams like this..."
Class...

Totally Round Up Week 10

So, Week 10, and surprise surprise, Chelsea cheat their way to a victory. Pah! All of our Totally Skill players were above reproach however in what must be surely the most uncorrupt league in the world?
So how did they do this week?
Well, it was Ronan who pipped everyone to the highest score this time out but only just; his 8 just beat  Darren's 7 and Penny's 6 so it is still incredibly and wonderfully tight at the top. Darren's two 3 pointers from Spain and the A!F!C! meant he stopped Ronan running away with the week; Ronan may have only scored one 3 pointer, but he was consistent and racked up singles all over the place.
It's all very, very tense...
In other news, A!F!C! are having a bit of a lull after their amazing start; let'shope they haven't lost momentum. And alas, Runcorn Linnets lost again, this time to Worksop...

Week 10 Table

Ronan    61 pts
Penny     56 pts
Darren    52 pts

Story of the Week

So they may have been a bit pants at the Confederations Cup this summer, but we might now have found out why...when asked by ESPN Brazil why their league system awards 4 points for a win, two for a draw and one for a loss, Tahiti Fa director Charles Ariiotima said "We just don't want anyone to be sad."
Guessing that doesn't help them hone a competitive streak...

Totally Round UpWeek 9

A bad week all round this week; A!F!C! could only draw at home to the worst team in all four divisions, Accrington Stanley (oo are dey?), Runcorn Linnets, a new team on the Totally Skill radar, are out of the FA Cup, losing 2-0 to the mighty North Ferriby United, and all our Skillers did pretty poorly too in this international break week. Darren did best but still only managed 4 to Ronan and Penny's, quite frankly, rubbish 3 each. This means that not a lot has changed except that Darren has inched closer to Penny who still lies in third. Let's hope normal service is resumed next week...

Week 9 Table

Ronan   53 pts
Penny    50 pts
Darren   45 pts

Totally Round-Up Weeks 7 and 8

So, you all know I'm not Sam Alladyce's biggest fan, but I'll suspend my loathing for this week only and rejoice in Sunday's result. A wonder to behold...
Right, so belated greetings; your correspondent has been at training camp at an island retreat and we have two weeks to catch up on.
Week 7 was another high-scoring week with Darren and Penny in particular doing well, Darren getting 8 and Penny 9. Ronan stumbled a bit on 5 and this meant that even though he took Week 8 with a solid 6, his lead at the top of the table was eroded away a little bit more. He is the first to hit the 50 point mark though. Penny and Darren only managed 4 and 3 respectively but it all remains fairly tight at the top.
The international break this week means there should be some spicy fixtures for Week 9 for everyone to get their teeth into; how will the table look this time next week?

Week 8 Table

Ronan   50 pts
Penny    47 pts
Darren   41 pts