TOTALLY ROUND-UP WEEK 38

No seismic movement afoot this week. Seeing as the Torres T-Shirt has already been ordered, it appears now that Penny and Darren are merely playing for pride at this late stage. A pair of three pointers helped Darren to a nice 8 point haul, while Ronan continued his leisurely stroll towards the finish line with a respectable 6. Penny has bowed to the inevitable, and her 4 points are maybe evidence of a tailing off in intensity as it has become clear the chances of retaining her title have slipped away.
Of course, there is always the Totally Skill Cup to come very soon.....can Darren or Penny deny Ronan an unprecedented Double? Can Penny continue her marvellous cup form this season and claim the Deaf School CD? Or will Darren  trump them both to win his first Totally Skill 'silverware'? Let the Ogre Battle commence........


WEEK 38 TABLE

Ronan   375
Penny    353
Darren   336

PS I've been listening to lots of early Queen this week. And....eh...it's almost May.

THOUGHT OF THE WEEK

And you thought there could be no such thing as urban bogness....

And a double whammy; who knew Christy and Gianluigi were seperated at birth?

BEAR CLATTENBURG

Blimey, I didn't know pitches got as muddy as all that any more, in this era of under soil heating and the like, but maybe Mr Clattenburg was refereeing for UEFA in some eastern European backwater this week...

HALL OF FAME: THE SEQUEL

As we were so eloquently reminded about the dearth of Hall of Fame entries, I thought I had better rectify it straight away with the man, the legend, the much missed Rocky.
A classic number 7, and gentleman to boot.
You will never be forgotten Rocky.

PLANK OF THE WEEK RETURNS!!! (PART 13)

Woah easy there Sergio, you might want to ease off and......oh, too late.
Even in a week where two stalwart Planks in the form of Fake Ronaldo and John Terry staked a claim to the much coveted title, we felt it only fair to bestow the honour upon Sergio Ramos for his quite alarmingly inept penalty against Bayern on Wednesday night.
It seems though, that this whole Fellowship Of Planks malarky has been a more exclusive club than we first reckoned at the start of the season. There have been but thirteen Plank Weeks out of thirty seven weeks of play so far....so either we have extremely high standards in recognising Plankish behaviour, or else nobody has truly stepped out of line this season with any Plankish regularity. Maybe next season they'll come flooding in more often.

PS Whatever happened to the Totally Skill Hall Of Fame??? It looks increasingly likely that come season's end, Steve Foster will be standing alone in that particular hallway, looking around and wondering when the party's going to start. Hang in there Steve, there'll be another bearded and possibly mulleted hero of yesteryear along to join you any day now..........

WEEK 37 ROUND UP

I'm afraid that this week's round up is something of a work in progress as we hear from FIFA that the results parrots of the Bahamas are on strike at the moment so our final score for the Utterly Otterly Bonus Round won't be in until further notice. That said, we can give you the situation as it stands and will of course let you know when we hear more from our friends in the Caribbean.
So, where do we stand? Penny breathed a huge sigh of relief that she didn't repeat her previous week's performance and pulled a creditable 13 out of the bag. Darren had a very good week and a couple of three pointers for him (thanks Buckie) means he takes home 11 points despite his less impressive international form. Ronan also scored 11 and so, although Penny made up a small amount of ground, it's surely too little too late.
As we speak, she is weighing up whether to cut her losses and concentrate all her efforts on the Deaf School Cup...More news when we hear it.

WEEK 37 TABLE

Ronan      371
Penny       347
Darren      328

THOUGHT OF THE WEEK

What a god....
Nice suit too RVP

TOTALLY ROUND-UP WEEK 36

Deary, and indeed, me. Just as Whaley Bee Week managed to create a frisson of excitement as Penny closed the gap on Ronan ever so slightly as to cast a sliver of doubt on his title credentials, the 36th week of the Totally Skill League saw Penny garner a measly point. With Ronan pocketing a handy haul of 6, this has really put distance now between 1st and 2nd as we enter the final straight. Darren is also determined not to fall foul of the dreaded 3rd spot again by dragging himself up by the metaphorical bootstraps with an impressive 8 points this week.....Penny, who is spending this week at her island training camp, will be aware that the danger lies not only in falling further behind the leader, but forgetting to cast a glance backwards to see the imminent danger in the form of Darren huffing an puffing up the hill.

WEEK 36 TABLE

Ronan       360
Penny        334
Darren       317

WHALEY BEE BONANZA RESULTS!!!!!!!!!

Just a little taster of what the winner of our end of season cup competition will be taking home...
But now to the important business of the inaugural Whaley Bee Bonanza week, and what a week it was! To begin with, it looked like absolutely nothing was going to change at all as Ronan kept his nose in front over the weekend, but then things went completely bumble-whale and Penny took a storming lead after Monday's fixtures. Tuesday and Wednesday though restored order and so, although Penny just edged it overall, and she managed to eat into Ronan's tally by 10 points, the shake-up that some pundits had predicted, failed to materialise. Penny can also breathe a sigh of relief that  Darren failed to make the most of the points on offer. All our pundits agree that for a week of over 150 games, the final scores were incredibly close and it just goes to show what a competitive league this one is.

Whaley Bee Results:

Penny:     115 pts
Ronan      111 pts
Darren:    104 pts


Week 35 Table

Ronan:   354  pts
Penny:    333 pts
Darren:   309 pts

LOOKY LIKEY 2

Oh Pepe; why did you get yourself sent off against Aston Villa? You fool....

Clint Gyllenhall

Great goal against Chelsea on Monday evening. He's really having a tremendous season. And all the while jetting in from various movie shoots around the globe. What a star.

STOP PRESS...STOP PRESS...STOP PRESS...STOP PRESS

News just in: the badly coiffed ball of rage that is Steve Evans has left Crawley to become the new manager of Rotherham. Although Rotherham are 14 points behind Crawley, reports suggest Evans was annoyed at the board's decision in january to sell key players including the legend that is Matty Tubbs. What does this mean for Crawley and Sergio?
Watch this space...

THOUGHT OF THE WEEK

I am minded to reflect this week that in football, as in life, so often what joy is given with one hand is then taken away with the other.
Joy because there is a very real possibilty that the one and only Ricky Van Wolfswinkel could be gracing the Premiership next season judging by reports. Who could fail to be gladdened by his name being uttered by commentators of a Saturday night on telly? Although, is it just me, or does he look 12 years old?
And sadness because Martin O'Neill has confirmed they have no intention of making Niklas Bendtner's move to Sunderland permenant and will be shipping him back to the Emirates at season's end. If even Sunderland don't want him, what hope have we of offloading him elsewhere? Pah

WHALEY BEE HALF WAY ROUND UP!!!!

Never before in the history of the Totally Skill League have we had a Whaley Bee Bonanza Week and excitement on Friday was at fever pitch, with the prospect of over 150 games, over 6 days and the possibility of seeing the table turned completely on its head. And yet, at the half-way point, our Skillers are so evenly matched that it is pretty much as you were, although Penny is going to need to put in some sterling season end performances to see off Darren's challenge for 2nd if the next 3 days change little. There were signs that some of our competitors were finding the extra fixtures wearing by the end of the weekend, with Penny reporting a possible cramp, but she is hoping to run it off. Ronan went into the Bonanza carrying a slight knock, but such is his momentum, he has shown no sign of it affecting his game as yet, and indeed he has now passed the 300 mark. With 3 days of fixtures still to go though, anything could happen and only the previously reported Egg Plant reforming comes close to this level of excitement.
(Sorry, couldn't resist a pic of the Arsenal fans performing the famous Man City Poznan celebration on Sunday to rub it in...tee and indeed, hee!!!)

So, at this point, here is what's happened, with the weekends points tally first and then the league as it stands.

Ronan:  58 pts
Darren:  56 pts
Penny:  50 pts

League Table

Ronan    301 pts
Penny    268 pts
Darren   261 pts

EGG PLANT REFORM!!!

Industy rumours were rife over the past few weeks that seminal prog/folk/punk/nursery rhyme combo EGG PLANT were due to reform for a raft of high profile summer gigs...well we at Totally Skill can now exclusively reveal that IT'S HAPPENING!!! IT'S ON!!! YAAAAY!!!
The full tour dates have yet to be disclosed, but we have got word that they plan to kick off proceedings during the Galway Arts Festival with a show at the Big Top. Insiders have also claimed that Shakespeare and his cohorts plan to include an entire performance of their highly influential conceptual second album 'The Somerset House Peace Conference' as 2012 marks it's 426th anniversary.
Roll on the summer!!!!

PS It has not been finalised, but we also hear that THE BOGNESS may be supporting

PPS Reports suggest that EGG PLANT may also be readying the release of a new double A sided single to coincide with their imminent live return. 'SLAVEN LOVE' & 'I WAITED AND I WAITED (AND ALL I GOT WAS SANCHEZ WATT)' will be released on Bumblewhale Records on limted edition green vinyl 7" in the weeks running up to their summer shows

THOUGHT OF THE WEEK

Too......much.....bogness.....can't....think....anymore....

TOTALLY ROUND UP WEEK 34

What a tight week this was; with so much to play for it looks like all our skillers are getting a touch nervous and the maximum scored this week was Penny's 5, with Darren scoring 4 and Ronan 3. The Bundesliga proved productive for Darren and Penny but otherwise everyone was far too cagey and so Penny and Darren failed to capitalise on Ronan's poor week. It looks like it's going to come down to whether or not Ronan can hold his nerve in the run-in. He's got anice 15 point cushion but will that be enough? Nerve-wracking for our competitors but of course great for the neutral. What  a great season this is turning out to be.


Week 34 Table

Ronan           243 pts
Penny           218 pts
Darren          205 pts