Totally Round-Up Week 16

It is with heavy hearts that we deliver this week's Totally Skill League round-up. RIP Gary.
Penny managed a hat trick of perfect scores to garner 3 bonus points mere days after we discovered that Darren had been cheated out of his own bonus points many weeks ago. It seems as though Penny has hit form just as Ronan in particular has started to show the effects of his long injury list......Darren is keeping pace and it looks now as though we have a TITANIC battle at hand between our three fearless Skill Leaguers.
Darren's bravery in once more going with his head rather than his heart gave him 2 priceless points in the A!F!C! game, whilst Penny obviously knows munch more about TSG Hoffenheim than she's letting on. 1-1 indeed! And guys, Buckie were 'the team' in the Highland League LAST year......they were never going to come away with much at Cove Rangers this time around.

WEEK 16 TABLE

Penny..............99
Darren............95
Ronan.............90


WEEK 16 RESULTS
                                         Result     Penny      Ronan     Darren
Norwich v QPR                   2-1         1-2         2-2          2-2
Cardiff v Notts Forest           1-0         1-0         2-1          2-0
Bournemouth v Oldham        0-0          2-0         2-0         1-1
Burton v A!F!C!                   3-2         0-1         0-1          2-1
Kettering v Grimsby              1-2         0-0         1-1          3-1
Cove Rangers v Buckie         3-0         1-4         2-4          0-3
Real Betis v R.Sociedad        2-3         2-2         1-0          2-1
Marseille v Paris SG              3-0         1-2         3-2         1-1
TSG Hoffenheim v Freiburg   1-1         1-1         0-2          0-2
Lazio v Juventus                     0-1         0-1        1-1          0-1

Gary Speed R.I.P.

Stop the Press!!!! Totally Skill Update!!!!!

We have received word that due to technical difficulties during Week 6 of the Totally Skill League, Darren was not alloted his 3 BONUS POINTS for amassing three correct scores, and therefore those 'missing' points have been added to this weeks totals which leaves Darren...................TOP!!!!!!!!!!
The relevant minion has been chastised and we have been assured that no such lapse of Totally Skill rules will occur for the forseeable future. The NEW table is as follows:


WEEK 15 TABLE

Darren..........88pts
Penny............87pts
Ronan...........85pts

Plank of the Week Part 8!!!

In any other week, this would almost certainly have gone to Wojciech Szczesny for propositioning a topless model on Twitter and not expecting her to reveal his phone number to the stratosphere. Not only does the idiot already have a girlfriend, but he is now receiving countless calls from complete strangers. Chump.
However, there can only be one winner this week and Blatter it is. As fellow correspondent Ronan pointed out, it must be bad if Rio Ferdinand has the moral high ground. Plank!!!

Totally Round-Up Week 15

"Play the game...you know you can't quit until it's won"
So sangeth a great man many moons ago, but it still holds true, especially when it comes to the Totally Skill League. There may be many mountains to climb and rivers to cross and all that stuff, but as long as you keep your eyes on the prize and NEVER give up hope that tomorrow's dawn can bring a new beginning whereupon you can see a new horizon underneath the blazin' sky, then the glory is yours to take.
Penny was a 'woman in motion' this week and left Ronan and Darren lagging behind by taking top spot for the first time since the very first week of the Totally Skill season. This does not bode well for the lads, for as we all remember, when Penny reached the summit around this time last year, she never looked back and proceeded to race away with the title, maintaining un unbeaten run that was unprecedented in Totally Skill League history.
The Highland League and La Liga both came up trumps for Penny this week, offering her six of her seven point total, while Ronan and Darren were in agreement that Real Betis couldn't cope with the onslaught of a fired up Villareal at home. And they were right....Villareal romped to an emphatic and stunning win. By a goal to nil.
Sooooo........now it gets REALLY interesting. Can the two boys put a stop to Penny's rampage to the season's end, or will there be more twists and turns in the coming weeks and months? Who is your money on? What odds a three way tie come next May? And just where can one get a pair of wheels???

"Soldier on...only you can do what must be done"

WEEK 15 TABLE

Penny         87pts
Ronan         85pts
Darren        85pts

WEEK 15 RESULTS
                                                   Result        Penny        Ronan       Darren
Stoke v QPR                                2-3            2-1             2-2           2-0
Southampton v Brighton                3-0            2-0             2-0            1-1
Tranmere v Sheff Wed                   1-2            1-1             1-1            2-1
A!F!C! v Swindon                         1-1            1-0             0-1            2-2
Barrow v York                               0-0            0-1             0-2            0-2
Turriff Utd v Strathspey Thistle       3-1            3-1              1-3            2-4
Villareal v Real Betis                       1-0            1-0             3-0            3-1
Lyon v Rennes                                1-2            2-2             2-1            3-0
Napoli v Lazio                                 0-0           0-2              1-0            2-0

Totally Round-Up Week 14

Some FA Cup action this week due to the International break and it seems some of our competitors struggled with the unusual fixture list. Ronan had a poor week and indeed only his ability to see Didi's men throw away yet another 1-0 lead to lose 2-1 saw him at least keep pace. Darren's continued strong form means the boys are now neck and neck on 83. Penny trails but with only 3 points in it, her season is far from over. Normal service resumed next week, fixture-wise folks.
On a side note, nice to see Forfar drew 4-4.

WEEK 14 TABLE

Ronan                83 pts
Darren               83 pts
Penny                80 pts

WEEK 14 RESULTS
                                                 Result         Penny        Ronan        Darren

A!F!C! v Scunthorpe                 0-0               1-0           1-2             1-1
Bury v Crawley                          0-2               0-1           1-1             1-2
Hinkley Utd v Tamworth             2-2               0-2           0-2             1-3
Newtown v Llanelli                     0-2               1-3           3-1             0-2
Ebbsfleet v Stockport                  2-1              2-2            2-1            1-2
Formartine v Clachnacuddin        1-1              2-4            0-3             2-3
Cove Rangers v Wick Academy  2-0              3-1           3-2              3-1
Reading Ladies v Barnet Ldes     1-0               2-0           0-1             2-0
Queen of the South v Partick       0-0               2-0           0-2             0-1
Airdrie Utd v Forfar                    4-4               1-1           1-1             2-1

Plank of the Week Part 7!!!

Having already been mentioned in the International dispatches, Zlatan now makes a starring role in our weekly award section. Admittedly he is an all round tool most of the time but this week's entry sees him awarded for his verbal attacks on the Zen-like person that is Pep Guardiola (he writes poetry, don't you know). Anyone who thinks they can NOT come across as a complete plank by criticising the politest man in football (after Gianfranco Zola), must indeed be a colossal idiot. Plus he has stupid hair... PLANK!!!

European Action interlude

Well, the dreaded international break has been upon us, and whilst there was a full programme of Totally Skill fixtures, Ronan and Penny also managed to get in some Pineapple Cup action. Sadly, Ronan was what can only be described as tonked as Penny sailed to a comprehensive 21-9 victory. If only she can reproduce this form in the league, she could well recover her standings there.

In other news, despite the presence on the same pitch at the same time as each other of the two men with the greatest disparity between their opinions of themselves and their actual ability (yes, I mean you, Zlatan Ibrahimovic and Niklas Bendtner), the predicted collapse of space and time as we know it did not occur. However, that Sweden not only let the boy Bendtner score against them, but are also still fielding Olaf Mjellberg (53), suggests they truely are a nation on the wane.
Penny's insistence that Portugal are in similar straits was backed up by a 0-0 draw in Bosnia.

Totally Round-Up Week 13

Due to the fact that we can't seem to locate the Week 13 sheet, there's not much to report here, other than the fact that Ronan still holds the lead. Oh, and Penny won the Honeydew Melon Cup last week. 17-10. Wowzer!

WEEK 13 TABLE
                        Pts
Ronan               78
Darren              75
Penny               73

Plank Of The Week!!! Part 6

He usually does something extremely plankish every second day, but even by his own standards, John Terry has had a doozey of a week. Kind of wish Robin had stopped to give him a good kick in the ribs or maybe stomp on his thick head on the way through though....

Totally Round-Up Week 12

The fightback begins. Penny clawed her way back up the table with a fine tally of  7 points this week. She is now joint second with Darren.....Ronan remains in front by a mere point, and things are truly hotting up now in the self proclaimed Best League In The World.

WEEK 12 TABLE
                            Pts
Ronan                   71
Darren                  70
Penny                   70

WEEK 12 RESULTS
                                        Result      Penny        Ronan       Darren
Swansea v Bolton               3-1          2-1            2-1            2-1
Derby v Portsmouth            3-1          1-0            1-2            2-1
Bury v Stevenage                1-2          1-1            3-0            3-0
Shrewsbury v A!F!C!         0-0           0-1            1-1            1-1
Aberystwyth v Bangor         0-2          0-3             3-1           3-1
Rothes v Brora                    1-3          3-3             2-3           2-3
Osasuna v Levante              2-0          0-2             0-1           3-1
Evian,etc v Auxerre             3-1          1-3             1-2            1-2
Stuttgart v B.Dortmund       1-1           1-1             2-2            1-3
Inter Milan v Juventus          1-2           0-2             1-0            1-0